fun facts of the day: Wayne's World was filmed in two weeks, all of the clocks in Pulp Fiction are stuck on 4:20, and Deborah Winger did the voice of E.T.

What is it with the absent reference status messages. When people say things like "I can't believe you would do that" or anything with "You know who you are." We don't and frankly, we don't care. It's just you posting your drama filled life up to generate

STOP EVERYTHING YOUR DOING!!! Think about me for 3 secs. 1.....2.....3.... You have just experienced the best 3 seconds of your life. You're Welcome!

The greatest pleasure in life is "not" doing what people say you can do.I call it the middle finger logic.

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life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... it's about learning to dance in the rain

,"for god so loved the world that he gave his one and only begotten son,that whoever shall believe in him shall not perish but have eternal life."JOHN 3:16

I had a handle on life, for so may years and it was the best but it broke.

When I was 17, I had my first love, ASDFGHJKQWERTYUIOPZXCVBNM above!

Restraining orders: Just another way to say I LOVE YOUUU...

Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late and see the New Years in. Middle age is when you're forced to.

Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.

99% of women say they don't like men who wear leather pants. Which works out perfectly, since 100% of men who wear leather pants don't like Women.

Tiger Woods already!!! who cares he cheated on his wife. Cheating goes on everywhere!!!! who else is tired about hearing of it? Letterman didnt even get this kind of coverage when he did it.

Thinks Women are like scratch-off tickets… There fun to do, ….. Most of the time they turn out to be losers, …. If your lucky you’ll get a winner, ……. And in the end you spend more than you get!

Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and then go to the fridge........

Lifetime, television for women. Yet for some reason women are always getting beaten on that channel.

Biggest Social Networking Crime: You haven’t seen someone for years; you vaguely recognize their name but not their face. They add you as a friend on Facebook and then after you accept them, you never hear from them again.

On 1 August 1981, MTV played the 1st music video "Video Killed the Radio Star". On Feb. 23 1992 "(18 years ago today) MTV played the 1st reality show "the Real World New York" and so began a metaphorical song "Reality Killed the Video star"!

England's oldest postman retired today after 40 years in the service. Friends and family lined up to wish him good luck in his retirement. He told them to go to the next window.

Mickey Mouse who will turn 82 years old this year. He's now the oldest rodent in show business, unless you count that thing on Donald Trump's head....

Women have a passion for mathematics. They divide their age in half, double the price of their clothes, and always add at least five years to the age of their best friend

Many years ago,Ozzy Osbourne asked me how he could get publicity to help his music career. I told him he needed a bright red hat. He thought I said "bite the head off a bat". And the rest,of course is history.

38 to 43 years old and still doesn't need glasses . . . We just drink straight out of the bottle!

DID YOU KNOW........Summer on Uranus lasts for 21 years - but so does winter.

Why is it that Volvic Mineral Water, which has been filtered through volcanic rock for millions of years, has a Best Before date?

Do you realise that in 40 years time,there will be alot of old ladies walking around with tatoos

It's easy to get caught in a flood of minutiae, and the key to not
feeling rushed is remembering that lack of TIME is actually lack of
PRIORITIES. Take TIME to stop and smell the roses, or--in this case--

to count the pea pods.

"Being overwhelmed is often as unproductive as doing nothing,
and is far more unpleasant. Being selective---doing less--- is the path
of the productive." Focus on the important few and ignore the rest.

I saw a bank that said "24-Hour Banking," but I don't have that much time.

┣▇f͟͞a͟͞c͟͞e͟͞b͟͞o͟͞o͟͞k͟͞▇▇═─™ This drug is very efficient for cases of chronic boredom. Extra doses can lead to farmville sydrome and turn you into a annoying tool

The next person who suggests that, when I die, I should leave my organs to medical science is really gonna get a piece of my mind.

SCIENCE FACT: If you took all of the veins from your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen." right or tell me?

Okay people, if you are driving a small car, and are not towing a trailer or driving a semi; you have no business coming into the left lane to negotiate a right turn

Mickey Mouse is now 81 years old. He's now the oldest rodent in show business, unless you count that thing on Donald Trump's head.

Don't tell me you are not tired of counting down to the next weekend or vacation so.... only 18,245 days until retirement. Take that society!

Good friends sometimes I want to cry and my tears start to come out of my eyes but that is of joy that I feel inside of me. IN GOD WE TRUST.

I Will work for salary and benefits with an annual cost of living increase but not on weekends, statutory holidays, or during 3-week vacation.

Good Night All.

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.

The nutritional facts on a box should just tell you the amount of exercise needed to burn off what you're about to eat.

Exercise programme: Take one Weetabix. Take an Aero chocolate bar.Crumble the Aero over the Weetabix. Voila. Aerobix.

Tip to reduce weight: first turn your head to the left and then turn it to the right, repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat.

Remember the time when Power Rangers, Ninja Turtles. Super Nintendo, Sega Genisis, the ORIGINAL Nickelodeon, Saturday morning cartoons. and recess made you a real kid back then.

Real men should never say the words "sippy cup".

The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post “Thou shalt not steal,” “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” and “Thou shalt not lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians

Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

The most important actions are never comfortable.

Working on Success of FREEDOM
"The existential vacuum manifests itself mainly in a state
of boredom."
"Life is too short to be small"

Remember this and think deeply into it "Doing the Unrealistic Is Easier Than Doing the Realistic." and that is in life and in BUSINESS.

Excitement is the more practical synonym for happiness, and it is precisely what you should strive to chase. It is the cure-all.

Dear Friday, You and your friends Saturday and Sunday need to come around more often. I miss you. Love from your biggest fan, me.